Sunday, April 7, 2013

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

Every time I think about describing how bipolar II works it crazy thing in my brain, I automatically start by humming the lines sung by the Duke in Moulin Rouge.

Here's a link: "It's a little bit funny...this feeling inside" Spectacular, Spectacular

Poor man was told the girl actually loves him, and acts like a goofy idiot because of it...

Unreliable information...

There's been something that has been simmering around in my brain for a while, ever since I started talking to autists and their experience with something called Sensory Processing Disorder. What happens to them when experiencing sensations seems really similar to how I experience feelings with bipolar.

There are difficulties of modulation - it's too strong, too loud, exhausting, too weak, too quiet, ephemeral.

What really got to me was the question of - what happens to a person when they cannot experience the world reliably through sound, vision, touch, balance?

It's the profoundly unreliable experience that really got to me. I get that with an understanding that prickles along my skin, aches in my bones.

What happens to me because I can't reliably gauge whether something will make me happy or sad? Or -too happy- or -too sad-? Or have any feeling at all?

There's been additional insight into SPD actually being a THING, since the oh-so-lovely invention of fMRI's. I really hope they are getting bipolar brains under those electric microscopes.
Sensory Processing Disorder:
Intense World Theory Interview:
Intense World Theory Science-y stuff:
SPD Study Science-y stuff:

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