Saturday, April 27, 2013

I Admit I Bit You, It Was A "Thing" (An I Love You Letter To My Sister)

Two friends have recently had to endure pretty shitty things done to them by their sisters, and my heart cries for them because nothing hurts quite like sister-hurts.

There is also nothing quite like being loved with sister-love, and laughing with them, watching "our shows" with them, and from what I hear from others - pulling pranks with them. I would like to make it clear that my sister and I don't pull pranks as neither of us is clever in that way, but we enormously enjoy watching them being carried out, and if they are clever/funny enough so that we can enjoy them afterwards we don't mind being the target of them.

I was a ferocious biter when I was a child. My 5-years-younger brother was the recipient of the Biting Incident of '84 "...In Which Dad Was Woken Up While Exhausted, And Didn't Ask Why There Was Screaming Before Smacking Ensued...", but Dani received her fair share. She doesn't recall them, but I do as my mom would give me flick me hard on the cheek when I got caught.

Man, she was annoying though, always hanging around and making me feel like an evil ugly Cinderella-Stepsister, jealous of how fucking adorably cute she was. Looking back at pictures from our childhood, I can see that it wasn't really like that as much as it seemed to me while living through it, but there's no way for me to fix it now. My readings over the years reassure me that this is a common occurrence in sibling relationships, and I saw it repeated with my daughters.

Getting back to the love part...
We have't had an hours and-or days long conversation in weeks. I'm not doing so well. She offers to drive over for lunch on Sunday. I begin weeping with happiness. Because even though my partners will be there and I'll also talk to them, there is Nothing like talking to and being with my sister.

My dearest sister, you went through it too, that crazy family stuff, and since we married brothers, the crazy other family stuff too. And you keep loving me, and accepting my love back.
Do you know that whenever you say you miss me it's like having a rainbow bloom in my heart?
I bit you, and acted like a pretentious teenaged jerk, and condescended to you, and more, and you still love me and miss me when you don't see me for a while, I think each time you tell me you love me

I am fairly marvelous, this must be said, but still...

I love you, and miss you too, when I don't see you. You have this clarity and insight, as well as hilarious cluelessness. You have this goofy adorable infectious sense of humor. You cry and bring me to tears. You are fierce and meek, humble and proud. You are intense and so very smart.

Thank you, dear one...


  1. :) :') :D <3 <3 Love you too, sis. Maybe sisterhood is like motherhood; your body refuses to remember the painful beginnings so you can enjoy the good parts. Like the past 20-something years. :)